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September 21, 2011, Author: , Leave a comment
Tags:: earth, evil, Mario, mitts, oven, poop, Super, two, youtube
Don’t Shit On Your Mother – Mario Remix
Categories: VideosTags:: earth, evil, Mario, mitts, oven, poop, Super, two, youtube
August 25, 2011, Author: , Leave a comment
Tags:: hurricane tracking, myrtle beach sc
Up to Date Hurricane Tracking from Myrtle Beach, SC
Categories: VideosTags:: hurricane tracking, myrtle beach sc
August 23, 2011, Author: , Leave a comment
Tags:: earth quake, earthquake, facebook, joke, step 3, weather
Steps to Surviving an East Coast Earth Quake
Categories: Home, Random HumorTags:: earth quake, earthquake, facebook, joke, step 3, weather
Step 1.) Sit around and question whether or not there is an earthquake.
Step 2.) Do nothing.
Step 3.) Joke about it on Facebook with your friends when you realize that there was just an Earthquake.
Congratulations, you just survived.
(1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
August 9, 2011, Author: , Leave a comment
Tags:: beard, drugs, experiment, goat, moustache, pills, the
The pills…
Categories: Random Humor, VideosTags:: beard, drugs, experiment, goat, moustache, pills, the
August 2, 2011, Author: , Leave a comment
Tags:: cats, depression, diagram, relationship
Diagram to Illustrate Relationship Between Depression and Amount of Cats Owned
Categories: Home, Pictorials, Random HumorTags:: cats, depression, diagram, relationship
July 21, 2011, Author: , Leave a comment
Tags:: charlie sheen, crack, douche bag, fast cars, handicap, law of nature, look in the mirror, making a million dollars, meaning of success, oprah, pop culture, subconscious, talk show, tendencies, time and money, true meaning, universal law, wildest dreams
Utilizing the Secret Power of the Subconscious to be Less of a Douche Bag
Categories: Home, Random HumorTags:: charlie sheen, crack, douche bag, fast cars, handicap, law of nature, look in the mirror, making a million dollars, meaning of success, oprah, pop culture, subconscious, talk show, tendencies, time and money, true meaning, universal law, wildest dreams
Many rumors of a hidden unspoken secret, the universal law of nature that is the key to wealth and success, have been emerging in pop culture as of late. Oprah has acknowledged its significance on her wildly popular television talk show, “Oprah” and Charlie Sheen professes that it allows him to smoke more crack than any human. All of the rumors you are hearing are true. There is a secret and it can be used to fulfill any of your wildest dreams.
The first thing one needs to do when utilizing this power, is to identify why you aren’t having the success you want in your life. The reason why, almost every time, is that you are a giant douche bag. Being a douche bag creates a spiritual blockage that must be resolved before you can have any type of success in your life. If you’re reading this and have been practicing the “Secret” and it hasn’t been working, chances are you’re a douche bag. You need to follow these steps carefully to cure this very dangerous handicap.
Step 1: Look in the mirror and say “I’m a giant douche bag”. Accept that as reality.
Step 2: Accept the fact that making a million dollars and driving fast cars isn’t going to save you from your douche bag tendencies…it will only amplify your douche-bagery.
Step 3: Imagine how much time and money you’ll be saving by not being such a douche bag. People will like you more, your wife will stop hating you and you will have a greater sense well-being.
Step 4: Start feeling like less of a douche bag which ultimately leads to acting like less of a douche bag.
Step 5: Congratulations, you’re not a douche bag anymore. Don’t fuck it up.
FAQ
Q: If the secret law is so powerful, why can’t I just keep being a douche bag and still be rich and powerful?
A: Because no matter how rich and powerful you get, you’ll never be satisfied. The true meaning of success can only be felt once one has overcome the douche bag syndrome.
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
July 19, 2011, Author: , Leave a comment
Black Belt Power Balance Bracelet Demo Part 1 & 2
Categories: Random Humor, Videos
June 28, 2011, Author: , Leave a comment
Tags:: achieving your goals, canada, commoners, exercise, health, look in the mirror, olympic champions, olympics, physique, stop watching television, technical advance, zombies
5 Steps to Unlocking Massive Weight-Loss
Categories: Random HumorTags:: achieving your goals, canada, commoners, exercise, health, look in the mirror, olympic champions, olympics, physique, stop watching television, technical advance, zombies
1.) Decide with 100% Certainty that your so fat, that it is threatening you and you’re families survival
Okay now write down all the problems that being fat creates for you. Be blatantly honest with yourself, think about things like: your health, offending other people at the beach, taking up too much space in general and sweating while walking. All these fat side effects have to go. Now, write down all the advantages there are to not being fat: You look better, you have more energy, the opposite sex finds you more attractive and your kids won’t grow up to be fat. Do this, and you’ll never have to think about it again.
2.) Slap yourself in the face as hard as you can
Slapping yourself in the face can really jump start you into not being fat anymore. If being fat is what is holding you back from a more slender physique, look in the mirror, SLAP YOURSELF and say STOP BEING SO FAT YOU IDIOT.
3.) Pretend everyone around you are evil zombies stopping you from achieving your goals
You have to understand that the people around you might not want you to change for the better because that makes them have to get better to be able to keep up with you. Pretend that they are all evil zombies trying to suck your energy and keep you fat, if you do this you will be one step closer to losing that weight and keeping it off. Sometimes you have to ignore certain friends because they actually persuade you into thinking that being fat is okay.
Quit distracting yourself from reality. Embrace it. This isn’t even a joke anymore. Most countries don’t even have TV and are getting much more competitive in the olympics. Take canada for example, a simple nation of commoners, unaware of the technical advance of the western world. They’ve survived over 5,000 years of an ice age and that has made them Ice Hockey Olympic champions.
5.) Exercise with Purpose
You have to build up your metal state to follow through with all of these new plans. Best way to do this is by Exercising with a purpose. I like to pretend that we discovered Aliens and the world has broken out in Chaos. Only the strongest and fastest survive. The fat and lazy people at home watching Television are immediately vaporized upon alien arrival. I seriously do that.
—–
I know being overweight sucks, and I’m sorry if I made fun of your situation but it is not okay to be overweight. I’m going to hold you to a higher standard and you should do the same for yourself. The life expectancy rate in America for the first time has actually gone down due to obesity. It is the number 1 cause of death. WAKE UP>This is de-evolution. Its not okay to be obese. Its just not okay anymore.
(2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
June 16, 2011, Author: , Leave a comment
Jellyfish Attack Survival Guide
Categories: Home, Random HumorJelly fish venom can be lethal to humans. The following is a list of things to do if you get Attacked by a Jellyfish.
1.) Panic – There is no sense in acting rational in this situation. Your life is at stake…The more you panic, the more likely you will counter-act the Jellyfish venom and survive the attack.
2.) Call 911 - While panicking, call 911 and alert them of this life threatening emergency. They will send a helicopter to life flight you to one of the very best german Jellyfish treatment centers. Unless you’ve really panicked, you’ll likely die on the way; don’t skimp on step one.
3.) Pee on Yourself – I know you’ve all heard this before, but its true. The best thing you can do is practice peeing on yourself in the shower so that way when Jellyfish strike, you aren’t wasting valuable Jellyfish anti-venom getting your aim worked out.
4.) Get Eaten by a Shark - Treat the patient, not the disease. Best way to do that is to get eaten by a shark.
5.) Amputate Infected Area – You’ve panicked, called emergency support, peed on yourself and there are no sharks in sight. So, the only other logical remedy would be just to amputate.
(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
April 21, 2011, Author: , Leave a comment
Do it yourself: Home made television set.
Categories: Random Humor, Videos
February 21, 2011, Author: , 1 Comment
Tags:: batteries, chap stick, condoms, heist, metallic objects, pizza cheese, shoe horns, shoplifting, toothpaste
Shoplifting: The What, the Why and the How
Categories: HomeTags:: batteries, chap stick, condoms, heist, metallic objects, pizza cheese, shoe horns, shoplifting, toothpaste
What?
Batteries, razors, travel mouthwash, condoms, chap stick, small metallic objects, shoe horns, pizza cheese, toothpaste and more batteries.
Why?
Bored.
How?
(3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
February 12, 2011, Author: , Leave a comment
Tags:: agility, boom, cats, delicate fabrics, ears, fir, keen sense, sense of balance, whale
A Pro Cat Ramble for all you Feline Friendlies
Categories: HomeTags:: agility, boom, cats, delicate fabrics, ears, fir, keen sense, sense of balance, whale
I actually love Cats. They are quite exquisite. The fur, the tail, the ears…simply breathtaking. Their keen sense of balance and agility. Their razor sharp claws, tearing through your delicate fabrics. They’ll poop in a box, in your living room. They’ll get jealous and suffocate your first born child.
(3 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5)
February 9, 2011, Author: , Leave a comment
Tags:: alot, circumstance, having sex, hey ladies, himalayan cat, katt williams, kitty, musical cats, nigga, pee, toilet seat, vagina
Hey Ladies, Top 9 Things to Avoid if you want to Keep your Man
Categories: Dating TipsTags:: alot, circumstance, having sex, hey ladies, himalayan cat, katt williams, kitty, musical cats, nigga, pee, toilet seat, vagina
Its real easy for you ladies to get men but its not so easy keeping them. Here are some things to avoid if you want to keep your man.
1.) Don’t own a Cat.
2.) Definitely don’t own 2 or more Cats.
3.) If your Cat dies, don’t expect us to feel bad about it.
4.) Don’t refer to your vagina as your kitty.
5.) Don’t even dream that your seeing the musical “Cats”.
6.) Katt Williams isn’t that funny. He just says “Nigga”; …ALOT.
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
…Ok he is kinda funny.
7.) Don’t scratch me when we’re having sex.
8.) Under no circumstance, ever, should you own a Himalayan Cat.
9.) Don’t leave the damn toilet seat down. How many times do I have to pee on it before you get the hint.
So don’t do any of those things and you should be all set.
(3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Title: Can't See Me
